Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i out mim tonsoeep
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