you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize