yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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