Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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