Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
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I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
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Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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