what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize