Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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