I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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