Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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