She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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