It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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