I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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