just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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