glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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