Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize