I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize