I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize