Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
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i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
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I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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