i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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