do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
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She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
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I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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