I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize