just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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