She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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