I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize