Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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