His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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