Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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