I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize