I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize