Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize