i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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