Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize