I hate all girls vehemently.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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