I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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