Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize