Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize