so explain again why im purple
no
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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