I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
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