shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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