Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Randomize