i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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