the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
this will be a night to untag.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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