Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize