Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
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I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
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This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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