so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
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Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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