The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize