Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize