Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize