it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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