The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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