this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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