you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize